The Scythe's soliloquy

#1

I posted a clever Shakespeare/Eyewire mashup quote in the chat, and several players goaded me to write a complete monologue as a result. Here, therefore, is the full version. (Fellow Bardians, I apologize that the full semantics of the original are a bit… destroyed.)

The Scythe’s soliloquy

To RG, or not to RG, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous boutons,
Or to take arms against a sea of mergers,
And by opposing end them: to cry, to reap
No more; and by a reap, to say we end
The heart-ache, and the thousand natural shocks
Of the consensus. 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To cry, to reap,
To reap, perchance to scream: aye, there’s the rub,
For in that reap of thine, what screams may come,
When we have finished off this evil cube,
Must give us pause. There’s the black spill
That makes calamity of so high acc:
And who would bear the minutes scrolling 'round,
The pink Mentor’s help, the chat bot’s videos,
The blips of useless dust, the Net’s delay,
The insolence of trolls, and too the points
That patient player of the trailblaze takes,
When thou thyself might not 2000 make
From thy hard labors? Who would nublets bear,
To grunt and sweat under a giant cube,
But for the hope of some most helpful Scythe,
The servant of the Reaper (from whose bourn
No traveller returns), hath caught the faults,
And makes thee rather earn those points thou ought,
Than earn a value that thou thought not of.
Thus reaping does make merriment for all,
And thus the turquoise hue of fresh spawn’d branches
Is colored o’er with the orange cast of “Scythe,”
And misalignments of great pitch and moment,
With this regard their currents we correct,
And post them in the forum.

3 Likes
#2

This is way cool!! lol :smiley:

#3

I adore this!!

1 Like
#4

I LOVED this